Category Archives: Hate to say I told you so

200 jaar ‘Nieuwe Stoff’!

huemobistisch_fijn_stoff_small

Het HuMobisme, dat weten jullie misschien niet, is een stroming waarvan wij (de HuMobisten Gyz La Rivière en Rufus Ketting) de hedendaagse afgevaardigden zijn, maar dat al eeuwen bestaat. Toen wij onlangs, voor een performance die we a.s. zondag in het MUSEUM ROTTERDAM (da’s het voormalige historisch museum Rotterdam) gaan doen, ons archief in zijn gedoken en wat oude paperassen, documenten en relikwieën hebben afgestoft, kwamen wij iets spectaculairs tegen. Namelijk stokoud materiaal dat gebruikt werd en gemaakt is tijdens oude vieringen van de Huemobistische (naar spelling 1811, archief Rotterdamsch Huemobistisch genootschap) feestdag ‘nieuwe stoff’.

Tijdens Nieuw Stof (Nieuwe Stoff) vieren de HuMobisten al sinds oudsher het gegeven van, de naam zegt het eigenlijk al, ‘nieuw spul’. Er is geen vaste vierdag, maar -en nu komt het- het ceremoniële gedeelte van de feestdag (die voor de rest uit zoveel mogelijk eten, drinken en het afsteken van voetzoekers bestaat) heeft al eerder plaatsgevonden in het Schielandhuis (dat jullie wel kennen als de plek waar thans het Museum Rotterdam is gevestigd) en niet zomaar voor een stelletje boeren, nee! dat heeft plaatsgevonden in aanwezigheid van Napoleon Bonaparte, die er volgens de Huemobistische statuten nogal van in de war was en ‘[...] vrijwel gelijk na den plaechtigheid om zijn avondtoilet heeft verzocht[...]’ (statuten Rotterdamsch Huemobistisch genootschap, par. 8E, MDCCCXI (1811).

Over het ritueel zelf willen we nog niet veel verklappen, behalve dat het met het bevrijden van een zekere geest en het verschonen van een zeker residu te maken heeft, maar och... het gaat er natuurlijk in de eerste plaats om dat je er bij bent geweest.

begint om 14.10, als start van de tentoonstelling RITUELEN.

Fuck Yeah!

2040party

Nu in de winkels!

photos by Pim Top

cookie d’oh!

consumerfront

Great couple days in the food ’n drinks department. My favourite night shop’s selling (get this) ‘Duff Beer’. Shit yeah! The crate says the beer you thought you could only get at Moe’s. Pret-ty, pret-ty, pret ty cool huh? Not two days later I find out there’s one (1!!!) video store in town that’s still selling Ben & Jerry’s Half Baked icecream. Something to do with the owner of that shop buying the icecream all the way in Belgium… I’m not going to tell which video store it is, but they who must eat some now at least know there’s still some left. To quote the legendary Ice Cube ‘it was a good week’.

met m’n grote blote voeten op het kouwe zeil

50_huge_ft_lo-res

50 Huge Feet
chalk on blackboard paint, 700 cm. x 330 cm.
mural in ‘conference room’ @ Sara Tim Trust

thank you:
brainyquote.com, SaraTimTrust, Frank Hanswijk, Floor van
Slochteren, Adobe CS, Andy Warhol, Mitch Hedberg & Suus

photos by The Magnificent Frank Hanswijk

I’m in the Music Business!

albums_2009

These are five records I designed the album covers of this year. They are Choca Alazaba’s ‘Reverse Bad Energy’ / The New Earth Group Prouctions, Benjamin Herman’s ‘Blue Sky Blonde / DOX Records (which became the best selling jazz record of the year thank you very much), Sir Ian’s ‘Apathology’ / Dying Giraffe Recordings, Rosa Ensemble’s ‘No Ark Dead Eel’ / Dying Giraffe Recordings and Hidde van Schie’s musical alias The 21st Century’s ‘Nocturnal Tellurian’. The last three are to be offically released in 2010 but they’re already done and sent out to be reviewed, so here’s a sneak peak anyway.

I’d like to say they’re my Album Top 5 of the Year, but that would be too much of a coincidence. They are, however, great records all five of ’em! So be on the lookout! Suus and I also did the design for the new The New Earth Group album ‘Eurafricarabia’ this year, which is to be released february 20 in Rotown (Rotterdam) and will be released through Excelsior Recordings.

I suppose this is my last post for the year, so I leave you all with the almost genuine dutch fireworks slogan: ‘You are a cunt, if you with fireworks stunt!’ and hopefully see you all in 2010!

‘I fell in love with doing yoga.’ – Ione Skye

shofukan_ontvangstruimte

I’ve been doing yoga for a short while a couple years ago when suddenly my teacher had to quit and become a mother. Now, since last week I’m back in business. Took the introductory course last tuesday and dude did I stink. It wasn’t so obvious to me, I breathed badly, I couldn’t move the way I had moved earlier and I was sweating like a giant pig. Balance to me is probably merely a word, in other words ‘serious amounts of practice from now on and a lot of work to be done’.

It shouldn’t become much of a problem though, Marijke my new teacher is pretty, pretty, pret-ty good and the place itself is amazing. Marijke (who used to be my neighbour back in the day) lives in Charlois, which is a part of Rotterdam (South) I had not seen so often, but actually is quite beautiful. She found us a Japanese dojo right in the middle of the old part of Charlois which is just amazing. It’s surrounded by a stunning garden (designed by Kees Ouwens) and is otherwise used for lessons in Japanese language, Za Zen courses and kendo practice. And now, since last week, there’s Marijke’s yoga lessons (for beginners).

Now if you don’t know what yoga is exactly and you’re like ‘Dude, yoga!? Are you for real?’ this might be the correct time to inform you on the effect yoga has had on me last time I tried it. Now let me start by describing myself as a hopeful nihilist, open to all sorts of powers and always trying to find meaning to events and situations, no matter how far-fetched or metaphorical. I’m also kind of gloomy at times and I sometimes suspect life to be nothing but irony. Now yoga helped me not to care too much about all that and be simply glad to be alive as its meditations made me realize fire, water, air and earth are here to be celebrated by us and not be ridiculed, hated or taken for granted. Physical yoga exercise made me realize that it’s a waste of time to feel bad about yourself. So yes, I am serious about this yoga thing. It pretty much calms my nerves and makes me less disappointed to be only human (and not some kick ass bird, a palm tree on the beach, a cucumber, a soft breeze, or a great white shark making a jump out of the water).

I think there’s still room for some more people, so if you’re interested call Marijke at 06 23 6456 63.

all I want for christmas is you

WinterWonderland

Het wintert, Joepie! ijsbloemen op de ruiten, kachels die niks lijken uit te halen, snert, handen die niet op je stuur kunnen zonder dat je de mouwen van je (wollen) trui er een beetje hebt tussengefrommelt, ’s ochtends draai je je nog eens lekker om, etc.: ik hou ervan. Waar ik ook ONTZETTEND veel van houd is de zgn. ‘kerstgezelligheid’. Man, ik vind het zo fijn! Misschien heeft het iets te maken met dat in de aanloop naar de kerst iedereen ineens ruiterlijk toegeeft dat gezelligheid niet van je stemming of instelling, maar van je hoeveelheid frutsels, dennetakken, gebreide truien en lampjes afhangt… Over gezelligheid gesproken: ik draai op een wel heel gezellig Kerst-feestje en wel het kerstfeestje van de Cheer-Up Club! (met Made in June, Marick&Mathilde en ik dacht ook Kaus&Kosa… althans, dat zou leuk zijn!) in de Unie.

Verder houd ik ook ontzettend van Sinterklaas. Als je er ook van houdt, doe je er goed aan aanstaande donderdag naar Ernest van der Kwast’s De Unie Late Night te komen, ik heb me laten vertellen dattie daar zeker aanwezig zal zijn bovendien is het sowieso altijd een erg leuke avond. (Oók al in de Unie, wat gebeurt daar toch een boel leuks.)

Jullie is in elk geval weer op de hoogte van mijn aanstaande performances.

better a good neighbour than a far friend

 

Our neighbours at the old office are in need of some help. Surely we’re glad to help ’em out and tell you all about it. First let me tell you a little something about our neighbours. They are, first of all, local art centre ‘Koffie Verkeert’ (way too difficult to translate), a sort of art-meeting-place-slash-gallery that’s been around since forever (eighties) and which has been especially hip in the Vaandrager/Cor Kraat/Rikus Waskowsky era. And second of all they are record store Shifting Gears, a really nice store specialized in what I believe is best defined as ‘contemporary dance music’.

Now what they need is either someone to revitalise Koffie Verkeert with some nice ideas on how to conduct art business in the now (notice that neither the art centre nor the record store have hyperlinks to –what youths call– WEBSITES) or someone to rent an office space in the back of the store and help out with the rent.

They’re a nice bunch of guys, if you’re interested walk by the store (open thursday – sunday) located at the Van Speykstraat 145.

model fuckers spelen op openingen

After swearing I’d never be in a band no more, my friend Arnoud ‘De Nuge’ van der Zijden did it again and made five incredibly good tracks with garageband. I could not resist and we got together this band consisting of Jeroen ‘de Rev’ Rozendaal (de vogels, The New Earth Group) on keys, Jos Hoevenaars (Mono, The New Earth Group) on Guitars, de nuge (Oil, de vogels) on bass and myself (Homey Universalis) on drums. We’re called ‘Model Fuckers’ and Model Fuckers’ (instrumental) music sounds like nothing you heard before (except maybe some really weird 80’s film soundtracks), but you be the judge of that once you’ve downloaded our third ‘song’ (can you call a track a song, if there isn’t a singer for the song to be sung?) called ‘except for the Coca Cola thing the word ‘enjoy’ lost its meaning’ for free right here.

Read more on Model Fuckers here on Last.fm

Sunn O))), fucking hell!

Last monday I went to see SUNN 0))) perform in the Raymond Strantse Kerk (a church). I have only one thing to say about the concert: FUCK YEAH!!! I do have a pretty funny anecdote on what went on right beforehand tho. An hour before the show me and my man de Nuge smoked one in the museumpark, made a couple of jokes on ducks, homosexuality and security guards and we were off to church.

As we got inside the church to find ourselves a spot, I felt like peeing real bad and luckily ran into someone I know who works at the Church, who let me in on a little secret: an actual hidden toilet somewhere in the back of the church, just my luck! So I went and I went and felt pretty relieved, washed my hands, walked out the bathroom to enjoy a little organ music that was already playin’ to get us in this whole mystical mood that was going on, and BAMMMM! I suddenly found myself in a corridor with six (6!) doors. as I got in I didn’t know where to go and while turnin’ round to see where I came from I immediately forgot just that. I tried a door and it was closed, the one on its right lead to a staircase. I tried another one, or at least I thought so, but it turned out to be the exact same one (that was leading to the staircase). I began to worry some and I felt a little stupid that I had just opened the same door twice (imagine me playing the memory game). I tried another one and I was back in the hall where the door to the secret toilet was located and I was like ‘my god! is this really happening to me, this… this… stoner classic?!? WOW!’ I felt kinda privileged, like Alice (when she was ten feet tall), and when I finally took a right door and was back in the main… church… space (what’s the name for this space? like ‘Oecemenical Praise room’ or something… I mean ‘the room that makes a church a church’. A prize for the best name in the comments section!) Anyway, I had to laugh so loud (yet silently) and I immediately told the first person that called my name (Selwyn Slop) the whole thing. I must have looked like a complete idiot. But fuck it, I love my life!!!

In case you don’t have a clue what SUNN O))) is, here’s some youtube stuff and this is what their press text said on this tour: “Pure, raw, uninhibited invocations featuring O)))s core members: Stephen O’Malley and Greg Anderson ONLY. 2 Les Paul guitars, 4 Sunn fullstacks, 4 Ampeg bass stacks. No guests, no vocals, no keyboards. We hope you will join us!.”